


The Same Old Fears

by HollyMartins



Series: Ben Solo loves his family [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo is a good dad, Ben Solo loves his family, Ben worries too much, Childhood Trauma, Children, Domestic, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Future Fic, Insecurity, Post-TLJ, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 19:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13771332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyMartins/pseuds/HollyMartins
Summary: When he had first learned he was going to be a father, he had promised himself—and Rey, when she was sleeping, though he suspected she knew—that he would never lie or misdirect his children; that he would always be open and allow them to trust him implicitly. He would do nothing to make them doubt his profound and absolute love for them and he would never, ever ignore their wants or hopes or dreams. He would be different. He would break the cycle.___In which Ben Solo is asked a question by his daughter, worries about his parenting, and is set right by his wife who knows all.





	The Same Old Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it happened to me.
> 
> I saw 'The Last Jedi' two months ago and I'm still Reylo trash. I was surprised, too.
> 
> I just want these two damaged space kids to be happy so this fluffy little nonsense happened. And yes, I can only see Ben Solo as the fathers of girls—probably because he's from a line of badass strong women. 
> 
> Anyway, this is your typical post-TLJ-married in the future with kids-everything is okay now fic. Thank you so much for reading and please note that this is not beta-read.
> 
> Remember, comments are love and for those who are curious about their childrens' names:
> 
> Morrigan: figure from Irish mythology related to fate and sovereignty  
> Jade: cheeky reference to Mara Jade, Luke Skywalker's wife in the Star Wars expanded universe

Children, Ben discovered, are astonishingly inquisitive creatures.

Even the dullest of children—and he wasn't above judging some of his daughters' playmates—are fond of questions and they are rarely satisfied with simple answers. But when you have a particularly bright child—and he wasn't being prejudiced in acknowledging that both his girls were startlingly clever, it was a simple fact—the questions never seem to cease. 

In the years since his daughters had learned to talk, he had grown quite used to answering questions from morning until dusk. Rather than finding this tiresome, he relished opening up his daughters' minds and expanding their horizons with his knowledge. If he didn't know the answer to one of their questions—which was rare—he demonstrated to them how to consult texts and search for illuminating clues. And if that didn't work, well, there was always his wife and his mother. They seemed to know all.

So he was quite certain there was nothing his daughters could ask him that would startle him or even give him pause. When he had first learned he was going to be a father, he had promised himself—and Rey, when she was sleeping, though he suspected she knew—that he would never lie or misdirect his children; that he would always be open and allow them to trust him implicitly. He would do nothing to make them doubt his profound and absolute love for them and he would never, ever ignore their wants or hopes or dreams. He would be different. He would break the cycle.

And so far, he had kept that promise and never hesitated in answering his daughters' questions. That is, until Morrigan threw him for a loop.

He had just finished settling his youngest down for the night and turned towards his eldest daughter, propped up in bed with a quizzical look on her face. He knew that look and had anticipated it—she had been unusually reticent during the evening meal, even for her. Ben smiled as he sat beside her and brought the blankets up higher. 

"It's getting late," he said gently, "you should rest your thoughts."

"Can I ask you a question?" Morrigan said, ignoring his advice. 

Ben smiled again and nodded. 

"Yes, of course."

She hesitated for the shortest of moments before asking, "Are you and Mama going to send Jade and me away?"

Ben's hands stilled, and his breathing abruptly became shallow. He looked upon his daughter, whose eyes didn't meet his but instead gazed at her fingers working at a frayed thread in her blanket. 

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"When you were little," she said, faltering briefly, "you were sent away. To study with Master Luke." She bit her lip before continuing. "Some of my friends and their siblings get set away for schooling. Not all of them but some. Will that happen to me?"

Ben felt that familiar yet overwhelming wave of love and need to protect wash over him. Sometimes he thought he would drown in it and he took a deep, shuddering breath before answering.

"Do you really think your mother and I would do that?"

She shrugged, her eyes still focused on the thread in her fingers. 

"Morrigan," he whispered. When she didn't look up, he brushed her dark curls off her forehead, running his fingers through her hair before resting his large hand on the side of her face. He was struck, once again, by how startlingly young she was though she often seemed wise beyond her years. "Morrigan, look at me."

She gazed up and Ben's heart lurched in pain as he saw a tiny shadow of worry in her bright eyes. 

"We will never send you away," he stated firmly and, with his other hand, circled her tiny wrist and smoothed his thumb over it. "You and your sister belong home with me and your mother. You will complete your education here and, if you want, when you are older, you may choose to further it somewhere else but that's a decision for much later."

Morrigan worried her bottom lip between her teeth again and Ben swallowed. His eldest daughter may have inherited much of her mother's looks but in temperament, she resembled Ben—sensitive and prone to melancholy and misgivings. 

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered, leaning in closer and gazing into her eyes, trying dearly to make her recognize how earnest he was. 

"I don't have to go away for my lessons?"

"No."

"Is it—" she began before taking a deep breath, "is it because I don't have the Force? Like you and Mama and Jade?"

Ben had had his heart broken many times in his life and was quite familiar with the sharp pain that bloomed in his chest. Yet, when he saw Morrigan's bright eyes fill with tears, he was certain that he would never grow used to feeling it when it came to his daughters. 

A desperate need to do more enveloped him, and he opened his long arms and gathered her up into them, resting her against his chest and kissing the top of her dark curls repeatedly. Lately, Morrigan had developed the habit of insisting she was too big for such sentimental nonsense but, as he tried to mask the sounds of her sniffles with quiet whispers of love, Ben knew she secretly craved it as he had at the same age. 

"It doesn't matter," he said firmly, his arms still wrapped around tightly. "I'd say the same thing even if things were different. You and your sister are staying here. You belong at home with us."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?" she whispered, sniffing and wiping at her face. 

Ben loosened his hold on his daughter and brought his hands to either side of her head, tenderly turning her face to gaze up at him. The tears in her eyes prompted him to lean down and kiss her on the forehead. 

"I've never lied to you," he insisted. "And I'm not going to start now."

Morrigan nodded and wiped at her eyes again. 

"But," she said, hiccuping, "but it doesn't bother you that I'm different?"

Ben smiled down at her and hugged her close.

"Being like everyone else would be rather boring, wouldn't it?" he whispered. He sat back and gently pushed her back to smile at her. "Besides, being born in this family, I'm afraid you have no chance at being anything but different. We're all a bit odd." 

Morrigan giggled and nodded before taking a deep, settling breath. Ben ran his thumbs over her cheeks. 

"Now, no more tears," he said, standing up and settling her against her pillows, "or you'll wake Jade and she'll keep us up all night."

"I promise," Morrigan said, smiling softly. "Mama will be back soon, right?"

"Yes, she'll be here before you wake up tomorrow. So get some rest and I promise you'll feel better in the morning."

"Yes, Papa."

He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead again. 

"I love you."

"Love you, too, Papa."

He waited until she closed her eyes before leaving his daughters' bedroom. He kept the door open just in case.

 

Rey was back before dawn. Ben heard her enter their home, check on their children, and then wash up before walking quietly into their bedroom. He lifted up the blankets as she crawled into bed and instinctively wrapped his arms around her as she pressed herself against his body, her arm thrown over his chest and her head tucked underneath her chin. They were silent for a few moments, content to hear the steady beating of one another's hearts. 

"You were upset earlier this evening," Rey observed softly. "Did something happen? Were the girls alright?"

Ben took a deep breath and rested his hand in her hair. 

"They were fine," he replied softly, before admitting, "Morrigan asked me a question."

"That isn't strange."

"No, but this particular question...gave me pause."

"Mmm?"

"She wanted to know if we were going to send her away for her schooling."

Rey stilled in his arms and Ben tightened his hold on her. 

"One of her friends just left for the academy on Corellia," she said gently. "Morrigan didn't tell me, Jade did."

Ben sighed and rested his hand on Rey's head, threading his fingers through her hair. 

"She was worried," he whispered. He swallowed and didn't speak for several long moments. Rey sat up and gazed at her husband quizzically. 

"Ben?"

He looked away and stared at the ceiling's darkest corner.

"For a brief moment," he whispered, "her eyes were like mine when I was that age. She looked so young and...afraid."

"Ben..."

"I promised myself that she would never look like that," he insisted, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "That she would never be afraid."

"Ben, calm yourself." 

"She actually thought we might want to get rid of her," he continued, gazing at Rey with wide eyes. "My Morrigan."

"Ben," Rey repeated, resting her hand on the side of his face, "listen to me. Children feel fear. It's normal." 

"But she thought—"

"She worried," Rey continued, "and you set her right. I know you did. You always do."

"Rey," he whispered, "does she really think of us like that? That we would be like...our parents?"

Rey smiled softly and shook her head. 

"No," she said, "she knows she's loved. She knows that she and her sister are our entire world. She just had a moment of panic. It's not surprising, given the age she's at and the fact that she does take after you in that." 

Ben looked down and nodded, gently nuzzling closer into her hand. 

"I wish she didn't take after me at all," he whispered.

"Hush, Ben Solo, don't talk so foolishly." With her other hand, she lifted his chin gently and met his gaze. "I'm always grateful whenever one of our children reminds me of you." At Ben's frown, she continued, "Morrigan inherited your worrisome disposition, that is true, but she also has your inquisitive nature. She is always searching to learn more, no matter the subject. And Jade," Rey laughed gently, "Jade may have my more...impulsive...attributes, but she has your gorgeous eyes and hair. Plus, she's as stubborn as you are."

Ben huffed a laugh and nodded, wiping at his face. 

"I just worry, Rey," he whispered. "I worry about turning into my parents and hurting the girls."

"You won't," she insisted. "And you never will—because if you do, I'll be the first to let you know and kick your arse across the galaxy."

Ben smiled and sniffed before Rey leaned forward and kissed him. He sighed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. 

"I missed you today," he whispered after resting his forehead against hers. "I know the meeting was important but still."

"I know. I missed you and the girls, too. I don't know why they don't realize I'm useless to have at these meetings," Rey continued, "I'm just counting down the moments until I can be back home to you."

"Then don't go next time."

"I hope not to," Rey agreed. "Now, lay back down and let me sleep. Jade will be up and about soon."

"Don't worry about the girls, I'll take care of their morning," Ben replied and cuddled down in the bed with Rey in his arms. "Sleep now, Rey."

She hummed in reply and was asleep before Ben could blink. 

 

When Rey awoke a little later, she smiled against the pillow as she listened to the singsong voices of her daughters and Ben's calm, loving voice as they worked in the kitchen to finish preparing a morning meal for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and be sure to comment!


End file.
